my life in blog form

A little sweeter

mollykate — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 19:46:52 +0000

Little did I know I would say goodbye to Winona Lake only to say hello again a few months later. I started a position on Monday at the Bowen Center – a community mental health clinic in Warsaw. The last week was spent in training and felt like I was asked to drink from a fire hydrant of information. I’m currently living with my extremely generous aunt and uncle as I look for a place to call home. I need to make more phone calls today.

I definitely hadn’t planned on moving back this direction, but apparently God had a different plan, which is okay since His usually tend to be better than mine. It’s good to be back, with some definite “hard” mixed in. I’m glad to be closer to some friends living in the area, but it also turns my thoughts to friends who are in the area no more. And that reminds me of how much I miss them.

Needless to say, this transition has been hard. This past summer I felt like I said an overwhelming number of goodbyes. Goodbye to classmates and the consistency of school. Goodbye to some friends that became so dear to me. Goodbye to relationships that will not end, but will look significantly different. I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m complaining because that’s far from my intent. It’s been a season of learning to let myself grieve. It’s been a time of learning to live in the freedom of not having to “be okay” all of the time, knowing He doesn’t shame me for it. Yet I’ve also been challenged to grieve with hope; to believe God when He says He’s near to the broken hearted; to believe God when He says He cares and will provide; to believe God when He says He loves me and has GOOD things in store for me. It’s also been a time of grieving without losing sight of the mile long list of things I have for which to give Him thanks. For some reason, I think those things become a little sweeter in the land of letting go, just like His presence becomes sweeter in seasons of gray, cloudiness. It’s funny how often I can’t wait to get beyond these seasons, yet something in me doesn’t want to say goodbye to the closeness I feel to God in these places. May I learn to walk closely next to Him in all seasons, passing through all places on this journey. I hope this has been a time of learning to draw closer to Him, having a little more faith in Him, and trusting His good heart towards me.

o dear…

mollykate — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 04:25:42 +0000

I’m not so good at this consistent blog thing, but you’ve probably guessed that by now.

hello awkward.

mollykate — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 23:18:48 +0000

I just finished up 3 weeks straight of summer classes. I’ve decided summertime and homework are like oil and water. No matter how hard you try, they just don’t mix.

My first class was from 8am to 4pm, which made for a long day, but for this non-morning person, the interesting topic made it bearable. I decided to take a banana to class for breakfast. Nothing wrong with that, right? Well, not unless you take it to your gender and sexuality class. Yup, that’s what it was. Hello awkward. Oh well, I think I was the only one that noticed.

Then a couple weeks later, I had quite a bit of reading to do, and in my efforts to try and combine summer with homework, I decided to take it to the beach on the lake. All my roommates were gone, so I thought it would be nice to get out. I decided to wear this two-piece swimsuit I own, even though I do feel a little weird wearing it. I debated whether or not to as I have not worn it in a place in which I might be recognized. I mean I do work for a local ministry and go to a Christian college, but I thought, “Eh, what the heck.” So I donned my aqua suit, got down to beach, spread my towel as far away from the other sunbathers as possible and still be on the beach, and commenced my reading. It was HOT, so I decided to get in the water. As I was cooling down, I notice a rather large group of people headed towards me and thought it was the perfect time to get out of the water. I make my way back to my towel and pick up my book. A few minutes later, I hear quite a bit of cheering and clapping, notice this group of people taking pictures, and come to find out there is a baptism service taking place. Oh yes. I thought to myself, “You have got to be kidding me.” I thought I was uncomfortable before (dot, dot, dot)… I just started laughing to myself. Well, shoot. I knew someday God would find out I owned a two-piece.

Burning the midnight CDs

mollykate — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 02:26:03 +0000

Okay, so it’s not quite midnight, but it is 10:15 Tuesday night and I’m sitting in my office. I finished class around 9, came back to finish up some work, now I’m waiting for a couple CDs to burn before I go home, so I thought I’d write a quick blog post. I have a feeling it’s going to be kind of random. I don’t really have much in mind to write about, so how about this. A good friend of mine suggested I write down 100 dreams I would like to see in my lifetime. Let me think…

- I would like to finish my masters in counseling.
- I would like to speak at some kind of counseling conference someday.
- I would like to be able to fluently speak French. I think it’s a beautiful language.
- I would like to have my own garden and grow vegetables and herbs and flowers that I can put in a vase on my table.
- I would like to learn how to do hospitality well. I guess that’s why Paul says “practice hospitality.”
- I would like to use up all of the stationary I now own.
- I would like to have a dog.
- I would like to own a grand piano.
- I would like to do more cooking and try new recipes.

Well, I guess that’s a start.

This semester I have had Practicum in which I’ve been able to see a few clients of my own. Tomorrow I head to the clinic at which I’m working. It’s been scary, overwhelming, heavy, a privilege, and enjoyable, among other things. I have four weeks left in the semester, which blows my mind. Boy it’s gone quickly.

Well, my CDs are done and I’m going to head home. Thanks for reading my rather short blog post. Happy Spring to you!

soon.

mollykate — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 04:58:41 +0000

yeah, I should probably write a new post soon. i’ll try and work on that.

the autumn that i see

mollykate — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 04:12:46 +0000

“Tune our hearts to brave music…”

mollykate — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 16:14:41 +0000

God of our life. There are days when the burdens we carry chafe our shoulders and weigh us down. When the road seems dreary and endless, the skies gray and threatening. When our lives have no music in them, and our hearts are lonely, and our souls have lost their courage. Flood the path with light; turn our eyes to where the skies are full of promise. Tune our hearts to brave music; give us the sense of comradeship with heroes and saints of every age. And so quicken our spirits that we may be able to encourage the souls of all who journey with us on the road of life, to your honor and glory.

Good things.

mollykate — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 02:45:31 +0000

New earrings.
Fun times on a photo scavenger hunt.
Coffee and good, affirming conversation with a wise woman.
A postcard from Nepal sent by a precious sister.
A funny card from a kindred spirit.
Emails from dear friends.
Classes about resumes, neurotransmitters, and attachment styles.
Cool, rainy, fall days.
New music.
Papa Johns pizza.
Time with my mom.
Late nights with friends. Including karaoke.
The gym.
Health.
Stretching conversation.
Hope.

Sleeping in tomorrow…

1:52 am

mollykate — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 06:18:50 +0000

It’s 1:52 in the morning and I can’t sleep. I’m guessing it’s my own fault. I drank an iced mocha around 5:00 this, I mean, yesterday evening. It’s raining outside, and storming a little bit. I like the sound of that. I like falling asleep to those sounds, but I guess not tonight.

I spent some time at home earlier this month. My younger sister left for Nepal last week, so I’m grateful I was able to spend time with her, and my mom. I arrived back in Winona Lake last Thursday, and then left Saturday for Cleveland. Lindsey (my roommate/good friend) and I went to visit some friends. We had a marvelous time.

I started work again last Monday. It’s taken me a while to get back into my working groove after having had about 3 weeks off. Slowly but surely I’m readjusting. I start school next week. I’m taking three classes – Lifestyle and Career Counseling, Addictions Counseling, and Psychotherapy with Children and Adolescents. I’m looking forward to learning about these things, just not the stress that accompanies school.

The ministry I work for runs on an academic schedule, so this is really the beginning of a new year for us. There has been a lot of change this fall. I’ve counted about 8 of my friends who moved (or are moving soon). Four of them internationally. I’m so grateful they have these opportunities, but their near presence will be quite a loss.

The grass always seems greener on the other side. I would love an adventure like moving to another country for a while, and many people have told me they wish they had the stability I have. So I’m asking what it looks like for contentment to co-exist with hope. What does it look like to live in the present while anticipating good things to come?

So for now, I want to be a good steward of the time I have, the opportunity to be studying what I want to do when I grow up in a place and with people I love and enjoy. I want to embrace this season and glean as much as I can from it. God has placed things for me to look forward to in the coming days. My mom is coming for lunch tomorrow, a good friend will visit Winona Lake this weekend, another good friend will come next week, and I can think of other things I’m looking forward to as well. I think a spirit of gratitude is part of the answer to my question. I pray a spirit of gratitude increases in me.

I’m going to try and go to sleep. We’ll see if it works this time.

Life today.

mollykate — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 03:27:38 +0000

Today, I had coffee with a good friend.

It was life to me. She was life to me. Her words and time were life to me.

I am grateful to You, Father, for giving me life today.